21 February 2007

talking about Idlan.....

Anybody knows how to make your child less attached to yourself? if yes all suggestions or recommendations are highly welcomed!

From the first day we moved to the new house, idlan's getting more and more attached to me. I could hardly move around the house, with him clinging at my shirts/kain/pants, following me around here and there. To the toilet, upstairs, kitchen, to be exact every inch of the house is no more free. Even if i go to sink and wash my hands for less than a minute, he'll screamed as if i disappeared and vanished to somewhere where he cannot see me! He'll always sit or stand besides me; time goreng ayam, basuh pinggan, itu dan ini.....I pray and he'll sit or stand still on the prayer mat, wait till i finish, and of course with some interruption going on like touching or belek my kain semayang, intai bwh kain, etc. And now he started producing one kind of sound which we find it quite annoying and very mengada-ngada :(

Night time, i need to accompany him and pretend to sleep when he wants to sleep, which sometimes i ended up betul2 tersleep! Sometimes he sleeps on my hip, stomach, leg, whichever parts of the body that he likes until i got cramp but only able to move him bila dia betul2 dah tido. Recently at the hospital, he slept cuddling my body in a seating position and i can move nowhere.

I know some people says a son is closer to his mom and a daughter has higher tendency to cling more to her dad. This happens to my brother where his daughter is very attached to him and looking at his face with full admiration and obsession (tersgt klakar if u see this :p). But how i wish idlan would give 50-50 attention to the both of us equally, so that i have time for myself, to clean the kitchen, to iron clothes, or do anything with the house chores all alone with no outside disturbance. The dreadest part, when we go for outing, like yesterday to ikea, just imagine i have to carry him most of the time when he refused to walk (this is another problem to be tackle on immediately). I dont want to see Dr George, my orthopaedic again. I dont want to take any pain killer again.

Im not complaining, just hoping that the situation will change so that i got more time for myself. And saying this does not mean that idlan is not close to his father. Of course he's very close to my hubby, especially during part yg bergurau2 lasak/geletek, it's just that he has this kind of 'mother-son-attached-problem' which i dunno its common among other mothers out there or not.

So my dear bloggers out there, pls share your tips to solve the issue hehe thank you!

p/s:
  • i've scold him - no effect
  • i've left him behind during our outing - he screamed and nangis olok2 of which ppl will start looking and staring at you and they might be saying, what a bad mother she is!
  • have tried to ignore him while settling my chores - still does not solve the issue because he keeps on berbunyi-bunyi and nangis dan terasa sgtla annoying

Whatever it is, mama still loves you and it never becomes lesser as time passes by :p If nothing helps then i guess i must accept it as parts n parcels of motherhood life hehe


11 comments:

tini said...

alesha pun very attached dgn walid die. kalau walid die balik keje die terus senyum mintak diambik. and very monyok kalau tak dilayan. die happy sgt kalau walid die spend time main dgn die. tapi aku takde tips la cam ne nak buat dgn idlan :( aku belom pernah lagi tgk anak2 sedara terdekat aku yang attached ngan either parents cam idlan ni

Anonymous said...

hehe..bagi die adik la yati..nanti mesti die automatically attach kat abah die jer...hehe...cam lutfi la..sume nyer nak kat abah die jer..tak nampak abah die, mesti carik nyer..abah sampai tak boleh pegang adik..nanti dia cakap la adik, ummi..heheh..

tapi ade time die cari ummi dia jugak..kadang2 tu die dtg peluk ummi die..dah lame tak peluk ummi la tu..ade time die dtg tido kat tepi ummi..dah lame ummi tak tepuk die kot..heheh...

-su-

ummi said...

once, iman tried to put on a bra on me while i prayed. he kept on holding the thing 'there' sampai ummi dia habis sembahyang.

farradasmiley said...

rasanya btol cakap Su tu..kene bagi Adik kat idlan, baru dia kurang attach ngan Mama

Like Mus'ab skang attach lebih ngan ayah..sebab adik asyik melekat kat Mama dia

Tapi tade la Ab attach bangat sampai ikut je mana2 ayah dia..bila dia main basikal ker..kuda ker..boleh je main sorang2
Idlan tak suke sorang2 kot??

yatipruzz said...

k.tie - notti nyer iman ehehehhe

farra- idlan mmg taleh duk sesorang la..asik nak berteman/berkepit. Kalo gi umah mak aku, slamatla aku sbb dia kepit ngan mak aku jer ehhehe

adik idlan? niat mmg ader insya allah. korang doala sempat dpt baby 2007 :p

mardhiah12 said...

kena bagi adik ni. setahu aku tu je tips yg mujarab, idlan pun dah 2 tahun kan? sedang elok le kalau dpt adik lagi

mak ude said...

in paediatric it's called separation anxiety. it's a phase and it will pass. as kids learn to socialise more, they learn to detach from parents. and off -course having a playmate will help ease the transition.

Kopi Suam said...

Yati,
Petang-petang soh peruz bawak idlan jenjalan kat taman. Anak-anak akak dulu pun attached giller kat mama tapi akak biarkan addy dia bawak gi jenjalan, naik motor, gi taman...lepas tu dah ok dan senang. Now nak gi kelas malam pun dah ok dah tinggalkan budak berdua tu dengan addy.

yatipruzz said...

ehehe thank u all. Ptg2 mmg dia pi playground ngan abah..mama tgk mutiara hati ehehe....tapi blk umah dia kepit ngan mama balik...so playground doesnt help much i guess :(

ude- skang idlan rapat ngan wan dia, so kite agak selamat la bley relaks2. esok wan balik kg sure haru.

myjulieyana said...

yati, aisya skarang pon attached sgt dgn kite, especially lepas keluar ward last Jan.. mana2 pegi sure nak mama jek.. kite tak kesah sgt kalau dia just nak mengikut, as long as tak berdukung.. berat dia about 13kg.. rasanya sbb nak dapat adik la dia jadi lebih attached sbb dah terasa ada saingan kot.. bab berdukung kite tak kompromi sangat dah skang ni.. nak meraung, meraungla.. sbb mmg perut kite dah besar & dah rasa tak larat.. kalau dilayan, nanti2 perut lagi besar lagila haru-biru..

skang ni dah ok sket.. what we did for Aisya is to distract her with her faveret - keluar rumah (ikut papa buang sampah pon jalan), main buai kat taman, cakap nak buat air milo ke.. kalau tak jalan jugak, kitorang biar jek sampai dia penat nangis.. mmg annoying tapi dah 'mangli' dah (vocab kedah ni).. bukan tak kesian tapi kalau dilayan, nanti kita nak pantang lagi susah..

Anonymous said...

yati...kak shaja here.. terasa nak join sama bagi pendapat sebab dah ada 2 permata hati kat umah nie ..dan plak akak mmg duduk umah kerja..24hrs ngan anak2 .. lagi ler mcm2. tapi itu ler...akak dulu pun pernah jadi, fahim nak ikut jer...gi toilet pun nak ikut...awal2 tu akak bwk jerlah masuk toilet sama.lama2 rasa mcm ngada2 plak budak nie.so buat tindakan drastik..ummi ngan abah jgn layan kalau dia ketuk pintu tu nak ikut masuk toilet,bior ler dia kat luar tu melalak ke..meraung tahap gaban ke..awal2 tu mmg nak pecah gak rasa pintu tu diketuk nyer, sakit telinga takyah citer aaa..tapi lama2 dia ok seniri. Nenek akak ada pesan , org dulu2 kalau ajar anak : jgn dilayan kalau dia nangis sebab tak dpt apa yg dimintak. takut nanti dia rasa kalau dia nangis mmg sure dpt apa yg dia mintak ... itu yg susah. Biar jer..nangis ler..Ummi pekakkan telinga tapi at the same time kan , bila dah kuar bilik air tu..kena explain kenapa..cthnyer,ckp ngan dia " abg takleh ikut ummi masuk toilet..malu laaaa..ok.." . then pujuk ler balik dia. insyallah lama2 dia ok... gud luck yati...and dont worry mmg semua parents akan alami bermcm2 kerenah anak yg kadang2 buat kita putus asa jap dan tak tahu apa yg patut kita buat. I feel it evry single day..hehehe..
take care !