24 April 2010

breastfeeding 123

When i read about Aida's posting on partial breastfeeding, it reminds me on my past experience with Firas. Aida is right, there's no point for you to force yourself to the extreme to ensure exclusive bf, to the extent it tortures you mentally and physically, not to mention affecting the emotions. When i was sick for nearly a month, with 2 weeks straight of hospitalization, and another 2 weeks spending time in and out of hospital, that period marks the end of my bf journey with my lil boy. To be exact, i only managed to exclusively bf him for 14 months, and another 1 month of partial bf, before he stopped and refused direct bf all the way.

Right after my surgery, i tried to pump and managed to get only 1oz. That was after 6-7days of not pumping at all due to the continuous pain strike, vomitting, etc. Back at home, the production increased to 3oz per day, firas still on direct bf, and that plays as the main stimulation. Nevertheless soon after that i was admitted again on and off, and when i was back, firas totally refused me. Time to go to work, the pumping regime still continues 2-3x per day, despite the output remains at 1oz per day. I persevere for only 1 week++, and after that i made a decision to just stopped. It does not help at all since Firas was not cooperative either.

My hubby was very supportive during those days. He knew i was all out and struggled to boost up the output, despite myself not fully recovered. He knew the only thing that keeps me going is the mother's pure wish of giving the best to her baby. But he also told me not to force myself, asked me to also think about my health, and that it's not the end of the world if i failed to bf firas till he reaches 2 y-o.

He was right. After all motherhood is not all about bf only. It does not mean a total failure for you as a mother if you fail to achieve the 2-years milestone. It still takes a lot to be a best mother in upbringing your child, and you still have a lot to offer in this world.

So cheer up my friends, you know you've done your very best, with God's will...there'll be another or more opportunities coming into your way, amin :)

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